By Kevin Pierce
Director of Men's Services
“It was a
big blessing for us to go to Care Net the other night and to feel the support
that you all provide. It was a blessing meeting you and getting to chat a bit,
I really didn't expect there to be the 'guy support', that's really cool.”-client
email.
These words
bring joy. We hear them all the time
from Dads who are clients at Care Net.
Another Dad came with his partner for a pregnancy test. I told him he was a Dad. I asked him if he knew what it took to be a
good one. He said “I have no idea.” I got to share with him not just his
responsibility, but the honor and value that comes to him, when he gets
equipped to be a Dad.
Our male
clients are told by culture that their view and opinion is unimportant, or
unwanted. Yet almost 70% of the women
who come to a Care Net say that the most important opinion to them is that of
the father of their baby. If he is
connected, supportive, and equipped, there is a very high likelihood she will
carry and parent their child. The
National Fatherhood Initiative showed that pregnancy loss was cut in half when
there was a supportive Dad in the mix. Studies on fatherhood show that kids in
homes without a present, equipped, active Dad are 279 times more likely to
engage in destructive or harmful behaviors later in life. Present, equipped Dads result in healthier,
better educated, more confident, and more successful children. To those “secular” statistics, we would add
the principles and history in Scripture.
God’s redemption plan for this broken world has good Dads as a primary
component. That is why culture has Dad
as a primary target. That is why Dad is
so critical to us at Care Net.
Our Dads
working with Dads at Care Net get to see amazing, world changing things. Young men come, feeling powerless and
disconnected. They are quickly shown
that they are quite possibly the game changers for their partner and unborn
child. They hear an encouraging voice,
telling them they are capable. It is
true that knowledge is power. One of our
favorite things is to help a man understand what is happening to the mother
during pregnancy, so that he becomes a resource for her. His eyes widen, and you can see the
confidence increasing in him. We teach
our Dads what it means to love both mother and child, from God’s perspective. When this happens, he becomes incredibly
effective, because his “why” for doing things gets set. He learns about budgeting, and discipline,
and dealing with his own issues in healthy ways. He moves toward becoming the man God needs
him to be in a difficult situation, even if he did not start right. The most incredible thing we get to do is
watch some of our Dads meet Jesus for the first time, or surrender again to
him. When they come into right relationship
with their Heavenly Father, and get connected to a disciple making church, we
see progress to our ultimate goal. A
family, made whole in Christ, growing together.
I sat across
the room from a man who had agreed to an abortion. His words were powerful. He talked about the ending of a life, but he
was more broken by the fact that he had “failed to protect her (the
mother).” He shed tears as he asked for
her forgiveness, and she extended it. As heartbreaking as that was to hear, it
showed that he got it with regard to who he is supposed to be. As he connects with us through our abortion
recovery program, we can help him deal with failure, and then see it become
motivation to be that man he is supposed to be.
That client,
in our initial meeting, said “Boy. You are all about the baby here, aren’t
you?” I told him that the child was important to me. So important, that my whole focus was to be a
support for him. He looked puzzled. I explained that if I can make a difference
in his life, I get three for one. He
becomes the Dad, and husband or partner he needs to be. She has a man in her life that provides what
she needs, and only he can give. Their
unborn child gets an engaged and equipped Dad.
As they receive all we offer, and embrace what God has for them, a
healthy family that stands and stands out in this culture gets developed.
I love the
women that come here. I love the
children they carry in their womb. But
the calling for me, and the other men who volunteer at Care Net, is to always
ask “what about him?”
