By Debi Boerckel
Office Manager
Many may not know, but Saturday, November 17 is National
Adoption Day! To those of us who are
adopted, or have placed children for adoption, it is an important day.
When I was 3 months old, a very loving couple adopted me. I was their second adopted child. My Mom suffered a stillbirth in her only
pregnancy, and after that was unable to have children due to medical
complications. When she and Dad decided
to pursue adoption, they went all in! I
have copies of the many letters they sent to adoption agencies. My brother was adopted first, and then I was
adopted through the same agency two years later. Both of us lived in an
orphanage until we were placed with my parents.
As a child, I never thought much about being adopted. I have known I was adopted for as long as I
can remember. This was never a secret in
our family for either my brother or me.
It was pretty much normal. We
were raised as if our parents were
our biological parents in every way.
When I became a teenager, I often wondered
who I looked like, if my bio-parents ever thought about me, did they remember
my birthday, etc. Normal questions for
an adoptee. During my rebellious teenage
years, I found myself wishing I could be with my bio-parents because, of
course, they would understand me! LOL! That’s laughable now as I look back!
I never once remember holding any anger or resentment
toward my bio-parents for placing me for adoption. I was grateful, thankful even, that they did
and that I had been given the blessing of my Mom and Dad, and our extended
family. I had everything any child could
want – a loving family, beautiful home, close extended family. My Mom and Dad WANTED us! Just like other Moms and Dads! I never felt that I was different, excluded,
or “less than” any of my cousins or friends because I was adopted. In fact, just the opposite! I told many that I was CHOSEN. I was proud of the fact that my Mom and Dad
chose me to be their daughter!
I understand that not every adoption story is like
mine. I know there are stories of
children being abused, used, and discarded after they have been adopted. HOWEVER, of the hundreds of adoption stories
I have personally read or been told, those are the exceptions, not the
rule. Most adoptees have had loving
parents and families that have embraced them, and have helped them grow to be
amazing adults!
Somehow, adoption has taken on such a negative identity
in the eyes of many. When speaking with
women here at Care Net about adoption, our peer counselors will quite often
hear this response: “Oh no, I could
never give my baby away for someone else to raise!” The reality of this is that these same women
are contemplating abortion. So while
they are horrified at the suggestion of adoption, or “giving away their baby,”
they are not horrified or even apprehensive at the prospect of abortion, which
ends that baby’s life. It is intensely
sad that life changing decisions are being made with little to no correct
information or education.
I would like to say, “Thank You” to the many Moms and
Dads that had the courage to place their children for adoption. I know that it is not an easy decision to
make, and is one of the greatest sacrifices that a parent could make. I would also like to say, “Thank You” to the
many Moms and Dads that have stepped in and given those same children loving,
caring, nurturing homes. In addition, to
my personal heroes, my birth parents (who I don’t know) and my Mom and Dad, “Thank
You” – I love you all deeply.
The next time you think of Care Net, say a quick prayer
for those that refuse to parent and are contemplating abortion – pray that they
will see the beauty of adoption and step out with courage to do that next right
thing.
If you would like to see what information we share with
our clients, please visit our website, www.CareNetTC.com.
If you are an adoptee, or placed a child for adoption,
and would like to make a donation to Care Net in honor of National Adoption
Day, please visit our website and click on “Donate” www.CareNetFriends.com.
