Instructions for Christian Living

By Pam Durham
      C.A.R.E. Director

Are the choices you make grieving the heart of God?  How about the words you say, the conversations you have?  I ask because I have recently overheard conversations that should have taken place behind closed doors, if at all.  My heart was grieved; grieved for those I overheard, and grieved for anyone who doesn’t understand the ramifications of what they are saying and thinking.  It is virtually impossible to separate ourselves from the words that come out of our mouths and the images created in our minds.  These words and images are often used against us by the enemy of our soul.  That overheard conversation took me back to my childhood/teen years where the environment was anything but Godly. 

Sex was a part of my life from as early as I can remember.  Crude “jokes” and sexual innuendos were a part of my everyday life from age 10 to 18 when I left home.  Body parts were discussed openly and nicknames were given accordingly.  It was acceptable for the adults around me to talk inappropriately about my body or anyone else’s body.  I dressed to fit the part, not understanding the messages I was sending.  Satan was using those around me to groom me for a life of sin in which sex had a big role. 

Thankfully, at the age of 14 I began attending a Godly church and began to see what life was like without a focus on sex.  I’m sure I shocked some of those ultra-conservative members with what I wore.  Thank God, they loved me and reached out to me anyway.  What a breath of fresh air when I was in their company.  I didn’t realize what it was, but I was drawn to these people.  Of course, the Holy Spirit was drawing me, giving me a glimpse into a different life, a God-filled life.

 

As I’ve pondered and prayed about these overheard conversations, I was reminded of God’s words from Philippians 4:8-9, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.” (Emphasis mine.)

I was told many years ago that what I do in moderation, the next generation will do in excess.  That is what spurred me to rid my home of as much filth as I could.  I did not want that life for my family.  At least I could address what was seen and heard on the surface.  Unfortunately, the “law of generations” has a way of creeping into the lives of our children and grandchildren even when we do not embrace those practices.  Thankfully, being transparent with my children about some of the things in my past has helped them to make Godly choices for their own lives. 

Ephesians 4:17-32 has a subtitle in my Bible “Instructions for Christian Living.”  Here are a few excerpts from this passage:  vs. 17-19, “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.  They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.”  Verses 22-24, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” And finally, verses 29-30, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”  (Emphasis mine.)

I hope that those I overheard will hear the Word of the Lord and realize how far away from God’s thinking they are moving.

He LOVES This Place!

By Debi Boerckel
      Office Manager

I believe that you can tell a lot about places and people if you watch children and observe their reactions to those places and people.  For instance, I have seen children, toddlers even, nearly jump for joy when they walk into a McDonalds®, and NOT because of the fries!!  Part of that excitement is probably tied to the Happy Meal® toy that will greet them, but they are also crazy excited about playing in the PlayPlace®!  It is a “happy place” for them – a place where they can run, jump, slide, laugh…be a child…and they LOVE it!!!

Until the other day, I never thought of Care Net’s office  as a “happy place” for a child.  One of our long-time clients stopped by to donate some things.  That in itself is a wonderful thing – so many of our clients give back to help other clients.  She has been a client through her pregnancy, delivery, and now with a very rambunctious little guy who literally runs EVERYWHERE!  The staff knows this client well, so when she pulled up with donations and her little guy in tow, we offered to help her.

As soon as his little feet hit the floor in our Waiting Room, he was off like a shot!  He ran the length of the room to the door leading to the offices.  WOOSH!  Through the door and down the hall!  WOOSH!  Full speed into the Counseling Room, which had no lights on, and up onto the couch where he normally sits when his Mommy comes for an appointment!  His beautiful Mommy was trying to chase after him with her arms full while the rest of us looked at him with wide-eyed wonder!  She said, “He LOVES this place!”

Why?  Why was he so happy to be here?  There’s no “PlayPlace®”, no Happy Meal® toy, no lollipop or sticker when he’s ready to go home…what was it that caused his little spirit so much joy?

Love.

We love him and his Mommy with the love of Christ.  They are both truly loveable people, but what I’m talking about is beyond human love.  It’s soul love.  It’s Holy Spirit love that goes deeper, reaches farther, holds tighter than any human love can.  To this little guy, Care Net IS his happy place!  Care Net is also his Mommy’s happy place!  Children are tuned in to their parents’ moods and feelings, so we know that if that were not true, he would not find so much joy in being here.

We ended the visit that day with a lot of smiles, laughter, and hugs.  They went home, and I walked back into my office thanking God for allowing me to see Care Net through the eyes of one of His precious little children.  Thank you Lord, that Your place called Care Net, is a happy place for so many.

When Do You Say Life Begins?

By Rayma Zugel
      Lead Center Director

January 21^st, the third Sunday in January, is a date marked by Presidential decree in 1984 as Sanctity of Human Life Day, 11 years following the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. President Regan was a strong pro-life advocate and claimed that the Supreme Court had “struck down our laws protecting the lives of unborn children.” He is also quoted as saying in 1984 that, “Each year, remarkable advances in prenatal medicine bring even more dramatic confirmation of what common sense told us all along – that the child in the womb is simply what each of us once was: a very young, very small, dependent, vulnerable member of the human family.” (Taken from NYTimes.com 1/17/1986, “President Deplores Abortion; Proclaims a Human Life Day.)

His successor, President George H.W. Bush, continued to recognize this Day. President Bush’s successor, President Bill Clinton, discontinued the practice throughout his presidency. Then President George W. Bush reinstated the observation during his time in office. President Barak Obama did not recognize this Day throughout his presidency. Now, President Donald Trump is in office and he, once again, recognizes the importance of the Sanctity of Human Life, even addressing the crowds at the annual March for Life held in Washington D.C. on January 19.

This past weekend, many churches around the country observed Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, making a statement that all life is sacred, from natural birth to natural death. It is fitting that this past week was also the week Americans honored Martin Luther King, Jr., a man who valued and defended life until his was taken from him. If we, like Martin Luther King, Jr. and our forefathers before him, believe, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” (The Declaration of Independence), then we cannot ignore those whom God is wonderfully knitting together in the womb (Psalm 139:13).

But if we say we believe in the Sanctity of Human Life, when then, does life begin?

Heartbeat: Modern technology can detect the baby’s heartbeat 18 days after conception; it can be seen beating by day 22. Between conception and birth, the heart beats approximately 54 million times!

Brain waves: By 6 weeks 2 days from conception, signals from the brain can be detected.

Independent movement: Although the Mother cannot feel it, the baby begins spontaneous movement between 5 – 6 weeks.

Breathing: The baby can hiccup by 7 weeks. The diaphragm muscle is completely formed by 8 weeks and intermittent breathing motions begin.

Many more milestones of life can be noted, but the bottom line is this, once a human egg is fertilized, a new human being has come into existence. All information concerning the child’s sex, hair color, eye color, and much more is present from the beginning. If the newly formed being is not human life, what is it?

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV)

Since 2009, more than 534,000 unborn lives have been saved as a direct result of the work of pregnancy resource centers affiliated with Care Net (stats through 2016). As you consider these facts, we’d encourage you to consider what your role might be in upholding the sanctity of human life – not just one day out of the year, but every day.

You can contact our Port St Lucie Center to receive more information about our upcoming Walk for Life being held on March 24 at Jensen Beach High School, or maybe you want to do even more. Our spring volunteer training will be held the first two weekends in March. Call to speak to us today 772-828-3168.

Overwhelmed by LIFE

by Willow Sanders
     Director of Student Services

You’ve been there right? Where the world feels like it’s coming in around you. Where if one more thing happens, they can pencil you in at the nearest rubber room. Then suddenly, almost cryptically, you hear of the need of another and it jolts you back.

We too know it. From our major move in August, to leaving for our national conference, only to return to a hurricane, and then jumping straight into a new school year! Yet in the midst would be

beauty. Things like a student committing to a major lifestyle change, having a 40% increase in student contacts, and walking through a difficult journey with a young man and watching him face it head on with Christ.

From despair to thankfulness, from selfishness to empathy.

I was thinking of this just the other day and how frequently it happens...which made me think of the word frequency. Defined, frequency is the rate at which something occurs or is repeated over a particular period of time or in a given sample. That reminded me of parenting and repeating things over and over again. Why?  Because I needed my boys to get a message. For whatever reason, there was a need for repetition. For frequency. Whether it be for Safety. Education. Fun. So many ways that the frequent occurrence of things can affect us.

My mind travels back to times in Scripture when the Lord repeated something. It could be in various books or in the very same verse, but I always knew if He said something or used an illustrative scenario more than once, I should key in and see what the point was. You know, see what the ‘therefore’ was there for. When we allow God to reset our focus from our lack to our abundance, it can be overwhelming. We can go from being OVERWHELMED by life to being overwhelmed by LIFE. In those times of discovery, we can find ourselves being reminded how much we have to be thankful for.  How blessed we are. How cared for we are.

Working in ministry can be like that. Overwhelming. Agendas to accomplish, tasks to be completed, needs to be met. However, you do not have to find yourself inside the walls of a non-profit or church to be ‘doing’ ministry. Our everyday life can be walking out what the Lord has called us to do. Yet repeatedly, I find that the greatest times of growth come when a tough time is met with an opportunity to see more than just the situation.  The Good. The Bad. The Tough. The Easy. All working together to overwhelm our hearts and remind us of the message of God’s overwhelming love.

Meeting with clients, speaking in schools, reaching out in our community, each offers so many chances to minister to the hurting and take our eyes off of the personal.  So as we all start this New Year off with different struggles, joys, or unknowns, let’s be ready and open to be overwhelmed by LIFE. 

The Divine Dance

by Sue Chess, Executive Director

(Excerpts from https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/a-new-years-plea-plan in italics.)

Nothing but the simplest impulses get accomplished without some forethought, which we call a plan.  As the Executive Director for Care Net, planning is very important to the future growth of this ministry.  It is very possible to go through life with little time devoted to the future, but this is not God’s way.  However, reconciling that with being open enough to God’s leading to accept closing doors and adjusting course will always be the challenge.

Proverbs 14:15 says “The simple believes everything, but the prudent looks where he is going.”  He considers the days to come and what they may bring.  Then the “prudent” thinks about how best to prepare for them and use them to accomplish His purposes.  The difference between planning and not planning is whether you look where you are going in the future, or whether you focus all your attention on the immediate right in front of you.

Over the last month, I’ve been examining the process God has used for Care Net and what we’ve learned in studying His ways over the past 16 years. 

When we pray, then plan, THEN move ahead doing just the next step (since that’s all we may know) God does big things!  Several years ago, we felt He was leading us to begin offering STI testing here at Care Net in addition to pregnancy testing.  Each week, I’d write down the next step to seeing that goal accomplished.  Weekly, the list would change.  “Call Health Dept.” “Check possible lab” etc. At one point, the realization came that when one door closed, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, we simply went to the next, and so on.  It was like an investigative journey or a Holy Spirit dance.

We applied the same method to adding a new Center in Martin County.  First, we prayed and believed the way clear and then listed the plan of what to do.  Each week found something else on the week’s plan moving us in that direction.  One big hurdle that we had no means of jumping was the Board’s determination (with my full support) that we needed a $50,000 buffer in bank before beginning.  A letter went out and the funds came in. 

We added the Student Services department to the ministry of Care Net in a similar fashion. 

Care Net’s Administrative Center that we moved into this past fall 2017, was approached in exactly the same way.  We searched for the perfect location for years, with one location after another checked off as not the right one. First, the knowledge that purchasing a building was His plan, then one step, a door closed, one step, another door closed, until another would finally open.  I’d love to say it was easy but it was not—it was painstaking, toiling, frustrating, but amazing.   PEACE has always been the guiding beacon.

God has done this for years, and I have finally realized He frequently leads all of us this way as we search to find the pathways He has for us.  But the point is to search…and take a step…if you want to find the path!  Yes, go there…no, not there…adjust course...recalculating…yes, there! For years, my motto has been “do the next right thing.”  Perhaps it should be DO the next right thing.  Start moving so that He can adjust or confirm the next step!

This is the Divine Dance of the Holy Spirit and it is the truest intimacy.

Careful planning is part of what makes a person wise and productive.  Not to plan is considered foolish and dangerous.  This is true even though the Proverbs teach that we do not know what the future may bring.  “A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”  (Proverbs 16:9)  The fact that the Lord is ultimately in control of the future does not mean we shouldn’t plan.  It means we should commit our work to the Lord and trust Him to establish our plans according to His loving purposes. 

Paul gave many examples of this in the epistles.  He carefully planned and then God would change those plans. Frequently, He put Paul in prison where he would write letters instead of going to the places he wanted to be.  But, in that process we received letters that make up a LOT of the New Testament.  He (Paul) had a general guideline: he wanted to preach where no one had preached before.  Then he developed a specific plan from this guideline….what makes this especially significant is that as far as we know those plans frequently fell through.  He was arrested in Jerusalem.  He went to Rome as a prisoner….It’s just like we saw in the Proverbs.  God is the one who finally makes the future.  But we plan nevertheless.  God uses our planning even if he aborts it and replaces it with something else.

 

Planning is crucial in Christian living and Christian ministry—even when God overrules it, and maybe especially when God overrules it.  That simply means He is doing a new thing along the way.  His creativity in teaching us new things as He is about the work of the Kingdom is a source of amazement to me.  If He corrects direction along the way, that is simply His leading in the Divine Dance.

Through a Client's Eyes

My husband and I are MORE than grateful for connecting with Care Net.  Everything happens for a reason and while I couldn’t understand why we unfortunately lost our first baby last October, I knew that God must have had a plan for us.  I just didn’t understand… didn’t know why all these bombs were going off in our lives…  I had never felt so alone and so upset and scared.

Time certainly helps to heal but after finding out just three months later that we were pregnant again, we were excited, scared, nervous, and very anxious.  I didn’t have health insurance…. I had no medical support and all I wanted to know is if this second baby – rather this second miracle - was okay or not.  Was there a heartbeat, was I going to lose this baby too, was I doing something wrong?   I knew all the worrying and anxiety was bad for both me and my baby, I knew stress was not good in pregnancy… my mind was racing and my heart unsettled.

Feeling so desperate and scared, I began to research pregnancy services in my area and discovered Care Net in Port Saint Lucie.   I truly believe God put this place on our path.  My husband and I were able to receive an ultrasound* on our very FIRST visit – and I know most places make you wait until you reach 20 weeks to get an ultrasound!   Receiving that ultrasound was like putting a Band-Aid on our hearts.  We were able to see that heartbeat, that flicker of light… I knew I had life inside of me… a feeling that I cannot even begin to describe.  On that very same first visit we were given ultrasound photos to take home and were also given a homemade patchwork quilt – so very nice! Not only that, we were able to meet with the Men’s Director, who just happens to be a local pastor and a peer-counselor who met with my husband and I together and also separately.  Through the love of God this place has shown us support, love, and caring in such a way that sometimes it’s unfathomable to think that such a place really exists right here on the Treasure Coast! 

I first entered Care Net in a state of terror and crisis. I knew that my emotions were getting the best of me.  I kept thinking about what had recently just happened to me and my husband and how it had begun to chisel at my marriage.  I felt that I didn’t have the support that I needed to grieve... I was pregnant again and supposed to be feeling all this joy and happiness, but fear was blocking everything.  Walking in to Care Net that evening changed everything – not only for me, but for my husband too.

I’m now 25 weeks pregnant and mountains of positive progress have been created and shaped for me, my husband, and my son – who will make his grand debut in September!  Care Net offers an Earn While You Learn Video Series.  We are able to choose from a wide array of interactive prenatal and postnatal video topics that we are interested in most as expectant parents.  As we watch videos we earn points and are then able to go ‘shopping’ in their store, which is amazing! 

All they want to do is help in any way they can – whether it’s with words or with items that we are in need of.  Sometimes our peer-counselors will watch videos with us, which is really comforting because we can pause the video, comment and share thoughts and ideas which is helpful - and quite fun actually too!

We look forward to our weekly meetings.  Emails are shared throughout the week and we feel like we have met some truly incredible people.  People that care about us and pray for us.  These people have helped me enjoy my pregnancy and have helped me in my marriage as well through counseling and through the Bible – amazing blessings have come our way!  I no longer hold onto this fear and anxiety because they have helped us to feel and to KNOW that it’s all going to be ok.   Again, we are grateful to Care Net and to God for allowing us to connect with such a beautiful and spiritual place.  We are also excited to continue to connect with them – even after our son is born!

  

We’d like to send our appreciation to all the staff and volunteers that have helped us.  We don’t know where we would be without all the hugs, support, and love.  THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts!

*(Care Net offers free ultrasounds on a limited basis.)

What About Him?

By Kevin Pierce

      Director of Men's Services

“It was a big blessing for us to go to Care Net the other night and to feel the support that you all provide. It was a blessing meeting you and getting to chat a bit, I really didn't expect there to be the 'guy support', that's really cool.”-client email.

These words bring joy.  We hear them all the time from Dads who are clients at Care Net.  Another Dad came with his partner for a pregnancy test.  I told him he was a Dad.  I asked him if he knew what it took to be a good one.  He said “I have no idea.”  I got to share with him not just his responsibility, but the honor and value that comes to him, when he gets equipped to be a Dad.

Our male clients are told by culture that their view and opinion is unimportant, or unwanted.  Yet almost 70% of the women who come to a Care Net say that the most important opinion to them is that of the father of their baby.  If he is connected, supportive, and equipped, there is a very high likelihood she will carry and parent their child.  The National Fatherhood Initiative showed that pregnancy loss was cut in half when there was a supportive Dad in the mix. Studies on fatherhood show that kids in homes without a present, equipped, active Dad are 279 times more likely to engage in destructive or harmful behaviors later in life.  Present, equipped Dads result in healthier, better educated, more confident, and more successful children.  To those “secular” statistics, we would add the principles and history in Scripture.  God’s redemption plan for this broken world has good Dads as a primary component.  That is why culture has Dad as a primary target.  That is why Dad is so critical to us at Care Net.

Our Dads working with Dads at Care Net get to see amazing, world changing things.  Young men come, feeling powerless and disconnected.  They are quickly shown that they are quite possibly the game changers for their partner and unborn child.  They hear an encouraging voice, telling them they are capable.  It is true that knowledge is power.  One of our favorite things is to help a man understand what is happening to the mother during pregnancy, so that he becomes a resource for her.  His eyes widen, and you can see the confidence increasing in him.  We teach our Dads what it means to love both mother and child, from God’s perspective.  When this happens, he becomes incredibly effective, because his “why” for doing things gets set.  He learns about budgeting, and discipline, and dealing with his own issues in healthy ways.  He moves toward becoming the man God needs him to be in a difficult situation, even if he did not start right.  The most incredible thing we get to do is watch some of our Dads meet Jesus for the first time, or surrender again to him.  When they come into right relationship with their Heavenly Father, and get connected to a disciple making church, we see progress to our ultimate goal.  A family, made whole in Christ, growing together.

I sat across the room from a man who had agreed to an abortion.  His words were powerful.  He talked about the ending of a life, but he was more broken by the fact that he had “failed to protect her (the mother).”  He shed tears as he asked for her forgiveness, and she extended it. As heartbreaking as that was to hear, it showed that he got it with regard to who he is supposed to be.  As he connects with us through our abortion recovery program, we can help him deal with failure, and then see it become motivation to be that man he is supposed to be.

That client, in our initial meeting, said “Boy. You are all about the baby here, aren’t you?” I told him that the child was important to me.  So important, that my whole focus was to be a support for him.  He looked puzzled.  I explained that if I can make a difference in his life, I get three for one.  He becomes the Dad, and husband or partner he needs to be.  She has a man in her life that provides what she needs, and only he can give.  Their unborn child gets an engaged and equipped Dad.  As they receive all we offer, and embrace what God has for them, a healthy family that stands and stands out in this culture gets developed.

I love the women that come here.  I love the children they carry in their womb.  But the calling for me, and the other men who volunteer at Care Net, is to always ask “what about him?”