Time IS On My Side

By Kevin Pierce
      Director of Men's Services

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be.  Be one.” Marcus Aurelius

“Everything is appropriate in its own time. But though God has planted eternity in the hearts of men, even so, many cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”  King Solomon

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.” The Apostle Paul

This blog is a bit personal for me.  Time has been a focus for me lately.  My brother, at 56, is dying from cancer.  Barring a miracle, he has little time left.  We have been looking back through the years of his life with all of the emotion that fits the memories.  Like most people would, he has become supremely intentional about each moment.

I look at my own children.  I see the direct results of time I spent, or did not spend, with them.  There is great joy to see the good that time has produced.  There is regret for what was not accomplished, because time was not spent on it.  I tell the men who come to Care Net that children spell love T-I-M-E.  We talk about the fact that there is no substitute for time spent with children.  Not the myth of quality time.  Just tons and tons of minutes and hours spent on them.

Time is the currency of all relationships.  How we spend our time shows what we value.  Children do not understand the concepts of working for a living, retirement, and climbing the success ladder.  They don’t get the frustrations and personal pleasure that come from it.  They should not have to.  What they understand is that Dad loves me because he was with me.  They understand that Dad loves Mom because he is with her.  Even though they may not be able to explain it, they know time equals love.

Time is not a renewable resource.  The idea that I will be able to make time later for those I love is false.  We can’t make more time.  I know that providing for our families shows we love them.  But what they see is what we spend directly on them.  Planning a Saturday event is great.  It gives anticipation and excitement to our families.  We will never have those Saturdays again.  But, we only get that hour on a Wednesday once in this life.  We only get bedtime today once.  We get this next Saturday morning with our son or daughter one time.  We get this afternoon to love their mother, and then that time is gone.  How we spend our “only once” minutes and hours is critical.

Time is a foundation for our legacy.  My Dad, and other men who served as “fathers” to me, showed me how to live.  I learned to deal with people by being with my Dad as he dealt with people.  How he treated me and others taught me how to treat my children, for better or worse.  These men showed me how to listen, and love, and study, and fight, and win and lose, by having me with them to watch them do life.  You and I prepare our kids for life after us by how they live with us.  In a sense, our best and most permanent mark on this world is made by the children we send into it.

Given all this, we should be like my brother, and be that way today.  We should be supremely intentional about the minutes and hours.  How will we spend tonight, between 7:00 and 9:00 pm?  What will we do with the 15 minutes we have at lunch today to talk to someone?  How will our use of time today, affect the whole of the lives of those we love?

Time is on my side, if I see its value in relationship.  It is on my side, if I recognize the inestimable value of the moments.  It is on my side, if I invest is carefully and joyfully in the lives of those I love.