Tuesday, April 3, 2018

My Unforgettable Experience with Abortion


**Content could be considered graphic in nature.**

I remember being an OB/GYN Resident working my Triage (OB ER) shift. A fairly young woman came in that evening complaining of prolonged vaginal bleeding. I do not remember her name. Her exact age escapes me, perhaps early twenties, but I will never forget her face nor her story.

When she was taken to the room by the nurse, she was quiet but concerned. The nurse filled me in on her complaint of vaginal bleeding for the past 2 days. The patient told the nurse that she was confident that this was not her period, but offered no other information.  I went in to see this young woman and noticed that she was pretty quiet, guarded, and concerned.  She also appeared unwell; slightly flushed but pale. I spent some time speaking with her about what was wrong and why she came in that day.  She repeated her explanation of bleeding and some pelvic pain.  She offered no other history.  We then agreed on an exam.

During her examination, I found a large amount of very dark and clotted blood. Most notably, her exam exhibited signs of trauma.  Upon conclusion of the exam, I questioned her further. She then disclosed that she was pregnant – she believed early in her second trimester – but had an abortion 2 days prior.  She did have some bleeding afterwards which concerned her, but the provider and “nurse” told her it was fine and to call back if she had further concerns.

She stated that her bleeding became much heavier and she began to have pelvic cramping and cold sweats. She returned to that office the following day but was turned away. She was told that there was nothing that could be done for her there. They recommended that she seek medical attention in the ER if she became worse.  She told me that she figured that if they weren’t concerned about it, then she would give it some more time.  As she continued to bleed and have pain, she decided that something was wrong. She told me that no one close to her knew about her procedure so she came into the hospital by herself.

Upon further examination and ultrasound, we found that she had a horrific complication from her procedure – which was likely to have been a D&E (Dilation and Evacuation). She had some remnants of fetal parts, still in utero, and lacerations to cervix and upper vagina – likely from evacuation of the other fetal parts. She had prolonged hemorrhage and infection that was difficult to repair and reverse. Without quick and wise judgment, her condition would become quite morbid, if not fatal. We agreed that a hysterectomy would stop her bleeding, get the infection under control, and hopefully save her life – which it did.

It pained us to perform a hysterectomy on such a young woman, but with this complication, that was all we could do. Thank God, she fared well through her recovery. I imagine that this is just one of many cases of such a tragic, never-ending story.  Just as sure as I am that this experience will never leave her, I also will never forget her.



Monday, March 19, 2018

Keep In Touch!


By Rayma Zugel
     Lead Center Director

Keep in Touch.” We’ve all said it…when leaving school, a job, moving away from your home. “Keep in Touch.” But what does that actually mean?

Farlex Dictionary of Idioms says:

~To maintain contact with another person, especially at intervals so as to remain up to date with each other’s lives.

~An informal parting phrase, especially with someone one isn’t likely to see again anytime soon.


We say it, but do we mean it?  Do we do it? I’ll be one of the first to admit I am terrible when it comes to keeping in touch, and yet when I do, it can mean the world to me as well as someone else. I have a friend back home in Michigan that I rarely get a chance to talk to, and yet every time we do it’s like we’ve never lost touch.  More often than not we end our conversation by saying, “Let’s do better about keeping in touch.”

At Care Net we ask each client we meet with if we can keep in touch by way of an evaluation. They get the chance after meeting with a Peer-Counselor to evaluate us and then give us (or not) permission to keep in touch, or follow up with them. I have heard more than once, “You called me just to check on me?” Why yes, yes we did. We want to keep in touch with our clients.

Kevin shares how when he kept in touch with a client the client stated, “The appointment was the confidence builder he needed” to be a good Dad. Keep in touch.

Another way of saying, “Keep in Touch” could be, “Remember Me.” In Luke 23:42 the thief on the cross next to Jesus said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” What was Jesus’ response? In verse 43 He said, “Truly I say to you today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Jesus, as He is on the cross, after being beaten and ridiculed…after being stripped of His clothing and nailed to the cross. His thoughts were on the man crying out to be remembered by Him.

As we look towards Holy Week and prepare to commemorate the death, burial, and then celebrate the resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ, let’s remember to “Keep in Touch”…with each other and with the One who loves you so much He died for you.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

"Hey, It's Time To Talk!"


By Willow Sanders
      Director of Student Services

Funny how that phrase does not startle us as parents as much as this one:

It’s time for THE talk.

However, eventually the time will come. Unfortunately, in our fast-paced culture the need for that “talk” will come sooner than most of us would like. We do not have to dread it though. Honestly most of us probably have dreaded that time for a few major reasons:

            It was handled about as awkward as things get for us as children.
Times are different and that difference can be a win in our column as parents. There is access to information that just was not available to our parents. We can Google sites and read books that can really make us prepared instead of have us stammering for words. Focus on the Family has a great layout in the “God’s Design for Sex” series.  https://www.amazon.com/Full-Set-Design-Revised-Paperback/dp/B00O5DIVTU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1520006866&sr=8-3&keywords=god%27s+design+for+sex+series%2C+4+book       

We still see them as not ready and do not want to awaken anything before it is time.
Consider this scenario: You go to get a late night snack, say a bowl of cereal. You think you have all you need for the time that is at hand only to open the fridge and realize NO MILK. You pass the store regularly, you open the fridge daily yet what should have been obvious to deal with is ignored until the need is great. So goes that way in many households when it comes to the topic of discussing sex and sexuality with our children. Anne Marie Miller, in her book, 5 Things Every Parent Needs to Know about Their Kids & Sex sets out to do just that: get parents prepared and knowledgeable on the “Talk” at any age of development. Check it out at http://5thingsbook.com/  

We don’t want to share our past choices and seem hypocritical.

Let me reassure you there is NO ONE better suited than you to guide your child through this journey. With every other area it seems vying for our children’s hearts and minds, Passport 2 Purity http://www.familylife.com/passport2purity puts the conversation back where it should be: in the home. Check out their materials as they aim to build heart-to-heart communication between you and your pre-teen while laying a foundation of purity that will prepare them for the turbulent years ahead.

This journey is not for the faint of heart but once we are centered to play offense, we will be ready to stand strong in defense of our children, families, and communities.

You were called to this!

You shall be equipped for it!

We believe in you!

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Peacemaker or Peacekeeper?

By Sue Chess
      Executive Director


Peacemaker is just a biblical way of saying peacekeeper—or is it?  Isn’t keeping the peace what Matthew 5:9 was saying on the “Sermon on the mount” as Jesus was speaking?  Let us consider.

Somewhere in today’s culture we have lost the easy ability to determine the difference between these two words. 

When was the last time you kept quiet, not because you agreed with some stated truth but because you did not find it worth confronting?
 
You kept the peace, not made peace. 

Here at Care Net, we just finished our Spring Volunteer Training.  One of the concepts we teach is the importance of care-fronting our clients.  We teach prospective volunteers this phrase, “Our clients do not care how much we know until they know how much we care.”  This lays the foundation for telling truth in a gentle and loving way within the counseling room.
 
Suzan was just such a client.  In an earlier conversation, she revealed her love for God and her desire to please Him. However, the difficulties of her current circumstance of an unplanned pregnancy combined with her father’s standing in the church was completely overwhelming that reality.
 
What makes ultimate peace with Suzan may not be what keeps peace presently. To restate that, what would lead to peace would be currently disturbing.

The skill we want to impart of care-fronting allows us to ask hard questions such as what her future relationship with her father might feel like if she ultimately chose abortion.  I recalled our client testimony heard here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jF_MgLO8S0 .  How wonderful to have this real life story that ends with a different scenario because of truth.  This real life Mommy chose the hard path and told her parents even though she knew it would bring temporary chaos.  Three years later, we received an email from this client just before her little girl’s third birthday.  She was planning a party but first sent us an email just to say, “Thank you, Care Net, for my little girl’s life!”   Her “rest of the story” testimony was of her father’s adoration for her baby girl today.
 
Doing hard things is OFTEN what leads us to true peace.  As C.S. Lewis said, “God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there.”  Satan is an imitator and an imposter.  He tries to drown out that peace path by pushing us to make the wrong decision to keep temporary peace.  Showing our clients an ultrasound so they can see the TRUTH of life in the womb can be very disturbing but is sometimes all they need to make the right choice.  Sadly, Care Net has even watched the Church seek to keep peace by remaining silent on abortion in the Church.  They keep silent to “keep the peace.”  Meanwhile, according to a study done by Lifeway and Care Net in 2016, more than 1 in 3 (36%) women were attending a Christian church once a month or more at the time of their first abortion.  Churches have also fallen prey to
keeping peace rather than making peace.  By simply laying the groundwork for “care-fronting” hard topics such as abortion, the Church could speak truth in a gentle and loving way, thus making lasting peace.  Sadly, we’ve had church leaders tell us that they can’t talk about abortion because they have pro-abortion members.
 
Really?

The incredible value of lovingly asking questions that search, or sharing the Biblical standard for life, even speaking about abstinence and abortion from the platform, cannot be underestimated.  If your Pastor boldly confronts the truth, please THANK him!  It is not easy in today’s culture of “just co-exist, don’t confront me.” 

In summary, peacemakers become a connection between God’s ways and His children even if it brings temporary discomfort.  Peacekeepers paste an artificial, political smile on their face and just try to avoid any upsetting words.

I have no doubt as to which God would prefer.

Monday, February 26, 2018

God Doesn't Waste Our Hurts

By Traci Bolden
      Center Director - Stuart


Have you ever asked God why did “this” happen to you? Of course you have.  We all have experienced hurt or pain in our life whether it was brought about by our own foolish actions or was the result of careless people.  Regardless of how it happened, the fact remains, it hurts.  Our natural reaction when we are hurting is to build a protective wall around our heart so we don’t have to feel that kind of pain again.

One of the hardest and longest lessons I have had to learn, personally, is that God does not waste our hurts.  The pain that we go through often reveals God’s purpose for our life. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is found in Genesis 50:20 - “You intended to harm me, but God intended it ALL for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”  While the enemy’s plan is to steal, kill, and destroy, God’s plan is to grow beauty and purpose from our pain.

Everyone has a story to tell.  Not everyone’s story is the same.  Often times we are held captive by our past because of fear, but when we are able to bravely share our story and allow God’s glory to shine through our circumstances, He can turn our pain into something beautiful.  When we live in the freedom of God’s truth, satan no longer has a foothold, and people’s lives are changed!

At Care Net, we have the privilege, as counselors, to share our stories of heartache and redemption with the clients who enter our doors.  Free from judgment, we meet each client where they are with Grace and Truth.  I believe each appointment is a divine appointment
and is an opportunity for God to use our own personal pain as a conduit of His love to help those in need. The encouragement our clients receive would never have been made possible without having gone through those painful times.  In 2 Corinthians 1:4-5, He shows us - “He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble.  We share in the terrible sufferings of Christ, but also in the wonderful comfort he gives.”

Instead of asking God “Why” this is happening, ask God “How” He is going to use it, trusting that your greatest ministry will likely come out of your greatest hurt.


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Time IS On My Side

By Kevin Pierce
      Director of Men's Services

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be.  Be one.” Marcus Aurelius

Everything is appropriate in its own time. But though God has planted eternity in the hearts of men, even so, many cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”  King Solomon

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.” The Apostle Paul

This blog is a bit personal for me.  Time has been a focus for me lately.  My brother, at 56, is dying from cancer.  Barring a miracle, he has little time left.  We have been looking back through the years of his life with all of the emotion that fits the memories.  Like most people would, he has become supremely intentional about each moment.

I look at my own children.  I see the direct results of time I spent, or did not spend, with them.  There is great joy to see the good that time has produced.  There is regret for what was not accomplished, because time was not spent on it.  I tell the men who come to Care Net that children spell love T-I-M-E.  We talk about the fact that there is no substitute for time spent with children.  Not the myth of quality time.  Just tons and tons of minutes and hours spent on them.

Time is the currency of all relationships.  How we spend our time shows what we value.  Children do not understand the concepts of working for a living, retirement, and climbing the success ladder.  They don’t get the frustrations and personal pleasure that come from it.  They should not have to.  What they understand is that Dad loves me because he was with me.  They understand that Dad loves Mom because he is with her.  Even though they may not be able to explain it, they know time equals love.

Time is not a renewable resource.  The idea that I will be able to make time later for those I love is false.  We can’t make more time.  I know that providing for our families shows we love them.  But what they see is what we spend directly on them.  Planning a Saturday event is great.  It gives anticipation and excitement to our families.  We will never have those Saturdays again.  But, we only get that hour on a Wednesday once in this life.  We only get bedtime today once.  We get this next Saturday morning with our son or daughter one time.  We get this afternoon to love their mother, and then that time is gone.  How we spend our “only once” minutes and hours is critical.

Time is a foundation for our legacy.  My Dad, and other men who served as “fathers” to me, showed me how to live.  I learned to deal with people by being with my Dad as he dealt with people.  How he treated me and others taught me how to treat my children, for better or worse.  These men showed me how to listen, and love, and study, and fight, and win and lose, by having me with them to watch them do life.  You and I prepare our kids for life after us by how they live with us.  In a sense, our best and most permanent mark on this world is made by the children we send into it.

Given all this, we should be like my brother, and be that way today.  We should be supremely intentional about the minutes and hours.  How will we spend tonight, between 7:00 and 9:00 pm?  What will we do with the 15 minutes we have at lunch today to talk to someone?  How will our use of time today, affect the whole of the lives of those we love?

Time is on my side, if I see its value in relationship.  It is on my side, if I recognize the inestimable value of the moments.  It is on my side, if I invest is carefully and joyfully in the lives of those I love.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Walk for LIFE!

By Nanette Maldonado
     Community Liaison

Last year was my first Walk for LIFE and I had no idea what to expect.  But you know what I found?  A community centered on one thing and one thing only, LOVE.  What a wonderful time I had!!!  With expectations or not, it was an event I found to be my most favorite.  You just have to experience it for yourself. 

Here’s what to expect, FUN, FUN, FUN! You will find old friends and make new ones, lots of laughter and joy, a little friendly competition between church youth, family games galore, a petting zoo for the younger ones to enjoy and an atmosphere full of LOVE, oh did I already mention that? Did I also mention that you will meet the Care Net staff and some of the most important people there, like our volunteers and our VIP clients?

My first experience overwhelmed my heart, because I had the opportunity to meet so many fellow Pro-Lifers!  I had the chance to connect familiar voices over the phone to lovely faces who support Care Net in multiple ways, and I had fun doing it.  If you want to know how to stay connected with like-minded people who LOVE LIFE, be part of the Walk for LIFE!

This is the one event where we can gather as a community of Pro-Lifers for a monumental purpose with lighthearted fun all at the same time.  It’s the one event of the year that is truly family centered.

Last year, we had the privilege to have many of our clients there as VIP guests in an honorary way.  It was such a blessing to have them lead the Walk for LIFE!  What a way to bring God the glory by celebrating the choice for LIFE right there, with those in the community that embrace them with love and rejoice with them. We are thankful that we were there to help them make that right decision for LIFE!

If I could tie this event all together with two or three words, I would end it with this… “LOVE UNLEASHES LIFE!” 

Join us March 24th for the Walk for Life at Jensen Beach High School at 9:00 a.m., located at 2875 NW Goldenrod Rd, Jensen Beach, FL 34957.  Please walk with us and register to walk at www.WalkForLifeTC.com and bring your family and friends!


See you there!  It’s not what you expect…it’s BETTER!