Blessings of an Interrupted Life!

By  Traci Bolden

       Center Director, Stuart

How many times have we been frustrated because our day didn’t quite play out as planned?  Maybe we were inconvenienced in some way or something unexpected happened that was just really bad timing.  These interruptions can serve as perfectly timed wake up calls to refocus our attention back on what is eternal and off what is temporary.

Some days God, who is sovereign, has quite the sense of humor and gently reminds us that He is in charge of our future.  Instead of frustration, our response should be one of joy where we embrace these interruptions as loving gifts from a loving Father.

There are many examples in scripture of God interrupting people’s lives.  

• David, a young shepherd boy, had his life interrupted when he was anointed by God to be the king of Israel.  Despite David’s downfall, God had a plan.
• Saul, whose name was later changed to Paul, was walking along one day on the road to Damascus when God interrupted his life.  Now we have most of the New Testament.  God had a plan.
• Mary, a young teenage girl, was going about her normal day when God interrupted her life. She found favor with God and was chosen to carry the Son of Man.  God had a plan.

We are grateful that these Bible heroes, who were chosen by the Lord to fulfill HIS plan and purpose for their lives, did not reject the call of God.  I wonder how often we are too busy to recognize God’s invitation to experience Him.

Every day before each shift at Care Net, we make prayer a priority.  We come together as a staff along with our volunteers and pray over each client that is scheduled.  We ask God to begin to work in their hearts before they even enter our doors.  We pray for each other because we understand the battle that takes place within these walls. Satan hates what we do and in order to prepare for war, we have to be fully armed and ready to intervene on behalf of others.  With expectancy, we ask God to interrupt our day however He sees fit.

God’s interruptions are often times clear invitations to something more significant.  Isaiah 55:8 tells us that “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.  “Andy my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." God is inviting us to see Him all around us, in the lives of others, in our ordinary daily conversations, in our serving those in need.  Interruption is not simply a matter of the heart enduring or developing patience.  It is about experiencing true life in Christ.  It is one of God’s ways of allowing us to see that there is more to be done than our self-appointed tasks for the day.

When a young woman or couple comes into one of our Centers because they find themselves facing an unplanned pregnancy, we are thankful for the opportunity to serve them and offer them an

invitation to something significant.  They may view their pregnancy as an inconvenience or just really bad timing, but with the Holy Spirit’s leading, we get to talk with them about how God interrupts our lives with all kinds of wonderful.  God assures us in Ephesians 3:20 that "He is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us."

How did you respond the last time God interrupted your day? Have you thanked Him for saving you from your plans?  We may never know this side of Heaven all that God has done and is doing in our lives.  Such are the blessings of an interrupted life!

Stolen Security & Identity

 By Pam Durham

      C.A.R.E. Director

We all, in our humanity, suffer from independence.  We want to do it ourselves.  That independence is played out in our lives by searching for security and identity (value).  Our independent searching leads us to look for it in people, power, position, fame, wealth, pleasure, etc.  We buy into Satan’s trap (lie) that these things will give us what we are looking for.  But what it does do is create a stronghold. ¹

The stronghold of abortion steals the value of us who have had an abortion.  Our identity is now wrapped up in the LIE they believed the abortion would solve.  Our security is now either in proving their abortion was the right choice, or in the belief that we deserve whatever life throws at us.  Whether or not we knew Jesus (or about Him) before our abortion, we are now caught in this trap.  That lie led us to FEAR, “It’s up to me to solve this.  What if we… (don't finish school, can't get a degree, get kicked out of my home, etc.).”  Now we have to prove our decision was the right one.  We make VOWS to do whatever it takes to make it the “right” decision.  We have to do this...my value is now at stake.  Or, if we believed we deserve negative things, we look to prove our lack of value.  We look for the bad situations, people, substances, etc. to bring us down.  We feel we don’t deserve better.  Our identity and security are tied to failure.  This creates a MINDSET; false justification. We know the method we are using is wrong, but we justify it because our value is tied to it now.  We are so deep in the deception that now we are RESISTANT TO THE TRUTH.  Anything that challenges our false identity and security we push back against.  We become defensive.  We do not want the truth to invade our illusion.

Even though we accept Christ as our Savior, ask for forgiveness--even believe we are forgiven--that stronghold may persist; hidden behind the lie we believed.  We are heaven bound, but not free from the bonds that bind up our heart.  We are still held back by the lies repressed in our hearts.

This is the battle C.A.R.E. (Confidential Abortion Recovery Experience) is fighting against.  C.A.R.E. is about setting captives free.  It breaks my heart to see Christians walking around wounded and in chains; believing they are fine.  But not just the Christians.  So many lost men and women believing these lies as well.  My calling is “to proclaim good news, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives and to release the prisoners from darkness; provide for those who grieve, bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair.”²

¹ 2 Corinthians 10:3-5³ For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. ⁴ The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

² Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Are You A Good Listener?

By Rayma Zugel
     Center Director

I have been told that I can be a good listener. Maybe that’s why almost every job I’ve ever had has involved being around, and listening to people.

When my husband and I were first married, he was struggling with some real “ghosts” in his life as a result of being a Vietnam Vet. At first he didn’t share anything with me, but as time went by, and I just sat quietly, he learned he could share with me some of those “ghosts” in his life, and that I wasn’t going to offer him advice. Oftentimes people don’t need anyone to give them advice or try to “fix” things, they just need someone to listen to them.

Part of the training we give all volunteers at Care Net is a section called: “Effective Communication”. Part of effectively communicating must be listening. We actually give a handout to our trainees that is entitled: “How Well Do You Listen?” and ask them to honestly fill it out and grade themselves after. Here is the handout for you to grade yourself:

Instructions: Rate yourself on how well you listen using the following scale from 1 to 5.

1 = Never            2 = Seldom          3 = Sometimes       4 = Usually          5 = Always

After you rate yourself, total your score to determine how well you listen.

                 I allow speakers to complete their own thoughts and sentences.

                 I make sure that I have understood the speaker’s point of view before I answer.

                 I listen for the important points and for clues about the speaker’s feelings.

                 I listen without interrupting.

                 I am in control, relaxed, and calm when I listen.

                 I selectively listen, filtering out the messages that are not important to the situation.

                 I use listening noises to let the speaker know I am listening, such as “yes” and “I see”.

                 I keep my emotions from getting the better of me when I listen.

                 I keep my mind from wandering. Instead of thinking what I will say next, I really listen to and concentrate on what the speaker says.

                 I listen even when the speaker or the subject is uninteresting to me.

                 Total Score

38 to 50 = Excellent Listener   26 to 37 = Good Listener   13 to 25 = Fair Listener   0 to 12 = Poor Listener

(Taken from Care Net National’s Compassion, Hope, & Help Trainer Guide)

Here are some steps to help improve your listening skills.

• A good listener is attentive. They make good eye contact, don’t interrupt what the other person is saying and show an interest in what is being communicated.
• A good listener does not look over the shoulder of the person that’s speaking, waiting for someone more interesting to come along.
• A good listener does not check their phone, tablet, or watch in the middle of a conversation, when someone is sharing with them.
• A good listener is not waiting for their chance to get a word in.
• A good listener uses positive body language; leaning forward and showing an enthusiastic, relaxed nature. They don’t fidget, cross arms, look elsewhere or express inappropriate shock or disbelief at what’s shared.
• A good listener does not hurry somebody, but asks good questions to guide the sharing.
• A good listener does not approach a conversation with prejudice, expecting to know what’s going to come out of the speaker’s lips. They don’t listen with a pre-formed opinion but attempt to have an open mind to what’s being communicated. It’s amazing how much time is wasted with the belief that people understand what someone means without taking the effort and time to listen.
• A good listener cares. They show empathy for what the other person has to say. It’s genuine, authentic and comes from a place of truthful concern, even if you don’t necessarily agree with what they are saying.
• A good listener identifies areas of agreement with the speaker while avoiding the cliché statement: “I know exactly how you feel.” Because you don’t. It ends up sounding insensitive, trite or self-centered. Every situation is different.
• A good listener knows how to treat what is shared with confidentiality. They are trustworthy and sensitive with information and never look to use anything that is shared for any purpose other than good.

Remember that listening is an action word, and though you don’t have to do anything active, just being there with an open ear, a gentle shoulder to lean on, a hug (if appropriate) can mean everything to someone who has something they need/want to talk about.

So, how well do you listen? Maybe you would like to find out more about what we share with our volunteers in training. If you’re interested, it’s never too early to start listening to what the Holy Spirit is telling you. You never know what kind of a difference you could make in someone’s life just by listening to them.

Who Are You? Really?

By Willow Sanders
      Director of Student Services

Character is who you are when no one is looking.

This quote has always been a foundational brick for me.

If Character is who you are when no one is looking…

Integrity, for sure, is who you are when everyone is.

I was really struck by this as I watched T.C. Stallings lead a workshop on being uncompromised in an industry that is all about the word.

It got me thinking of how easily our character can lead us to places of compromise. Places we swear on paper we’d never be led to. No. Matter. What.

The thing is we usually put those as the BIG things on our ‘No-No’ list and completely forget that tons of tiny bits make up a road. And when you hit a pothole, it was because the little parts, collectively laid, gave way together in their formed state.

T.C. shared that he found when he stayed true to the base things he knew to be true about his faith, about God’s Word and about the world, it was much easier to be uncompromised.

It can seem like such a daunting task, right?

You mean I have to watch my life THAT carefully?!

Well, let’s unpack that.

How well made do you want the road that you walk on to be? How structurally sound do you need it to be?

If we only have a character that suits us for the moment but not the integrity to walk it out, major problems can arise. Life has enough of those already, why add to the heap?!

We’ve all seen those roads that are haphazardly patched-frustrating to say the least. Like, just fixed enough to be functional.

Our desire shouldn’t be for our life to be ‘just functional enough’ but rather we should be developing a firm foundation from which we can boldly drive toward the things that will strengthen, equip, guide, and empower us.

Here are a few simple steps to pave the way:

1.    Assess who you are

What character traits do you hold valuable? Who in your life can you look to that possess those qualities? Read up on the topic.

2.     Recognize your surroundings

It can be really hard to hold true to a certain character trait if you are spending the majority of your time with people or things that don’t mimic that. Make sure you have people who believe in and walk out accountability.

     3.     Adjust your course when necessary

If you see that your character (who you say you are or who you believe you are) isn’t matching what you are walking out in small and large ways, then it may be time to do some self-evaluating. This is the time for our walk to match our talk. Not always easy, but always a growing experience!

When we can take steps to connect our character with our integrity we are on the right road to success!

Faithfulness Always Wins!

By Sue Chess

     Executive Director

Eight years ago today, my wonderful Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Forty-eight short days later he would breathe his last labored breath with his family around him as we listened to the Gaither Band sing about Heaven.  I can’t believe my “Dado” has been gone that long!  It seems like yesterday—it seems like forever.  He is buried in the country cemetery on the hill above our summer cabin which is affectionately dubbed “The Schoolhouse”—because that’s what it was over 100 years ago.  My Dad was outspoken and opinionated (that may be where I get it from—sorry, friends)!  His faith in God, his faithful life, his constant love—all of these things helped to shape my belief about God and about life. 

Louie Giglio makes the statement that faithfulness always wins.  He also said that you don’t have to know everything about the mountain to take the next step. If you are faithful you keep going when circumstance get hard.  Even when life fails you—you win because you don’t fail life.  The guiding mantra of my life has been “just do the next right thing.”  How much of that started by watching it modeled in my Dad for most of his life?

It’s hard to imagine what Dad’s reaction would be to what our world has become!  He always spoke his mind but somehow communicated that he loved you and loved life at the same time.  No one got angry with him somehow even though that index would come up as he’d make his point. 

Dad proved Mr. Giglio’s statement that faithfulness always wins when he faced death with courage.  I peeked around the corner as he had one of his last “heart to hearts” with Mom instructing her to lock her doors at night and hold to the faith.  He was quick to tell the nurse that he’d be getting a new body soon, and indeed he has.

 

Here at Care Net we watch our clients face some of the hardest circumstances you can imagine.  Even as this was being written, one client faced a positive pregnancy test knowing she has an abusive boyfriend—now what?  Circumstances can completely obliterate your understanding of how to remain faithful—where’s the next step?  How do you keep going when life gets that hard?  I guarantee you know the very next thing.  It has never failed to present itself when the mountain (circumstance) is faced. Faithfulness is a combining of belief with behavior. 

You take the very first righteous step towards it and God empowers you for the next one.  That is how faithfulness always wins.  Proverbs 3:3-4 “Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.” 

Such a simple verse, but so challenging to walk it out!  Remembering that faithfulness always wins, take the first step in the right direction.  Then the next.   

Are You Following Jesus, or Just Following Him Around?

 By Jane Oliver

      Liaison Coordinator

  

“Are you following Jesus or just ‘following him around?’”  I was recently challenged by this question posed by Pastor Steve Wiggins on the KLOVE Cruise back in January.  My initial reaction was, “Ouch!”  It is a question that has stuck with me, and one that I have pondered over and over since. 

The Greek word for follow is akoloutheo which has more than one meaning.  It can mean to follow after or accompany; also, to follow faithfully, or to conform oneself to, to fully know, have understanding, or to accompany and assist.   In the Gospels, the word follow is used 76 times.  14 of those times are in reference to the crowds that followed Jesus around during his earthly ministry.  The other 62 times the word follow refers to when Jesus called people to be His disciples.  Based on this information, which definition of follow do you think was most important to Jesus?

You see, the people in the crowds who “followed Jesus around” were fans or admirers of Jesus—people who wanted to see and be near the man everyone was talking about—in the same way someone might admire and enjoy watching Tom Brady of the New England Patriots play football for his quarterback skills. Tom Brady fans may follow his career, or attend football games he plays in, but they are not participating in the game with him or emulating his character or skills, and they don’t know him personally.

So what is the life-altering difference between “following Jesus” as one might follow a celebrity on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, or attend an event where they will perform, and “following Jesus” as His disciple?  When Jesus calls us to follow Him, He isn’t just asking us to tag along.  Jesus doesn’t want us to just believe in Him from a distance.  He invites us to come close--to be fully engaged with Him; to abide in Him by both learning about Him through His Word, and living that out by doing the work of the Gospel.   He changes us from the inside out by the power of the Holy Spirit and produces fruit in us.  In Matthew 16:24-25, Jesus says, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”  Dictionary.com defines a “disciple” as a person who is a pupil, one who believes and gets others to believe the doctrines of another, one who embraces and assists in spreading the teaching of another.  We are called upon to be disciples of Jesus who make disciples of Jesus. 

The most important distinction between “following Jesus” as His disciple and “following Jesus around” is whether or not we have put our faith in Christ and made him Lord of our lives.  1 Peter 3:15 reminds us, “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.”  At Care Net, the heartbeat of our ministry is to offer our clients hope through sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ so “that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.” (John 10:10).  Henry Blackaby once said, “Watch to see where God is working, and join him in His work.”  Won’t you consider following Jesus to Care Net to join Him in His work here?

Called, Loved, and Kept by Christ

By Traci Bolden 

     Center Director, Stuart

We just recently wrapped up another season of training potential volunteers.  This is always an exciting time for Care Net because we have the benefit of building new friendships with those who love this ministry as much as we do.  I think of my Care Net family and how important they are to me and how beyond blessed I am to have them in my life - each one with their own set of strengths that make this ministry flourish.  I also think of our volunteers that faithfully serve in the name of Christ each week without reservation.  They graciously sacrifice their personal time and talents for God’s greater purpose.  Oh, how we love each and every one of them. This ministry exists because of their selfless acts of service to our clients.  Many of our clients do not understand the joy we have or where it comes from.  What a privilege it is to be able to show them, to invite them into the family of God where joy is immeasurable.

One of my favorite parts about training is on the very last day when our Executive Director, Sue, shares with us the meditation for Pro Life Workers that reminds us that we are Called, Loved, and Kept by Christ.  It brings tears to my eyes every time and reminds me that we do have to rearm ourselves EVERY DAY with this profound truth that provides a shield against Satan’s lies.

When God calls you to do His work, He equips you.  There are days when we are weary and discouraged.  Weariness can be tough and exhausting, the kind of weariness that comes just before you give up.  If you have worked in a pregnancy resource center for any length of time, you know exactly what I am talking about.  It is easy to fall into an attitude of discouragement when we are tempted to believe the lies of the enemy, when we are challenged, shaken, and exhausted by the weight of the world, but then - in walks a client who says she is contemplating an abortion and one of our volunteers is there in God’s perfect timing to greet her with open arms, love on her, and show her that there is another way.  God tells us in Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

It is tempting to become disheartened when we are bombarded with negative news media regarding abortion and the latest outrage of laws being passed in several states.  And, yes, it is difficult to achieve fair media coverage of the moral concerns about abortion.  Satan hates what we do.  He is relentless and merciless in his attacks, especially when we are taking territory from the enemy.  God reminds us in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world, you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

God did not say it would be easy, but he did promise that he would walk with us.  And He did not intend for us to fight this battle alone.   We often need reminding that we are joining God where He is already at work.  The support our Care Net family offers during these seasons is invaluable.  We walk alongside one another, loving one another, lifting each other up in prayer, supporting one another by offering hope, strength, and truth that can only come from Christ.

One of my favorite Bible Teachers described Christ it this way, “Sometimes Christ walks through our crisis dressed in the best disguise of all: ordinary events.  He tucks a miracle in the fold of His robe and sweeps in and out unnoticed.  Only in retrospect do we realize that a divine visitation graced our cold, crude winter and the resurrection of spring is on its way.”

If God is calling you to serve, obedience is necessary.  Are you willing to surrender your good for God’s greater purpose?