By Pam Durham
C.A.R.E. Director
Jeanne walked into the group for the first time. She came because someone reached out to her
at church and invited her; she even asked if she could pick her up. This lady was warm and felt safe. But Jeanne didn’t want to make her go out of
her way, so she drove herself.
Jeanne doesn’t have many friends. She is a loner for the
most part. She has a few friends, but no
one she considers close. She feels judged; she doesn’t believe anyone
really wants to get to know her nor does she want anyone to think she is trying
to infringe on an existing friendship.
All her life, she has had to be on her own, never having anyone she felt
she could trust except Jesus. But she so
desperately wanted to be accepted for who she was.
In a way, this is my story.
I’ve struggled with feeling rejected most of my life. Many things play into this feeling…sexual
abuse, unprotected childhood, feeling rejected by my mom, no good father image,
and my strongest gift – prophet, telling the truth (sometimes to those who
don’t want to receive it).
I’ve been a Christian since I was 16. When I was 15 I went to my pastor and asked
him for help to stop the sexual abuse.
He did help, he confronted my step-father who did stop. For the first time in my life (since 1 year
old) I was free from sexual abuse. But
not free from the damage. I asked for
forgiveness when I asked Christ into my heart, which he, of course, did. But that also did not free me from the
damage. Fortunately, when I was about 25
I met with a Christian counselor and walked through a lot of the strongholds in
my life. Finally, freedom began. Wow, what a weight that was lifted. I could physically feel the difference. I had a taste of freedom and have never
stopped pursuing it.
Strongholds are legal ground that has been given over to the
enemy. They begin by believing a lie. The
lies feed a need for security and identity. The lies are varied, designed for each of our
weaknesses. Some of the big ones are
fear, lust, greed, bitterness, rebellion, etc. that create a spirit of
independence. We believe the Spirits of
deception who are blocking us from hearing the truth. Remember though, it began with us believing a
lie.
As committed Christians who have a personal relationship
with the Lord, we more easily will move through our strongholds. BUT, we have to want to. Many times God presents us with the truth,
but we don’t want to hear it, or we don’t believe it, or we are afraid to move
forward. God is such a loving Father
that he continually will bring us around to it again and again until we break
it down.
One of the major areas that Satan wants us to stay in
bondage to is rejection. He knows if he
can keep us believing that others don’t like us or that we are not as good as
they are, etc., he can keep us from reaching our full potential for
Christ. My husband and I were in a
situation where I had confronted a church board because they decided to do a
180 degree change on some things that affected us. I was upset, but was careful not to make any
personal comments toward them even though some of them were doing that to
us. I personally sought out each board
member and asked for forgiveness if I had offended them. They each assured me they were not
offended. But, one or two of them
proceeded to spread rumors indicating their lack of forgiveness. In a time of prayerful soul searching, I
asked God why they were rejecting me. I
can still vividly hear his response, “They are not rejecting you, they are
rejecting me through the truth you spoke.”
From that time on, my ability to be hurt or offended by someone’s
rejection has been greatly diminished.
Another stronghold that Satan uses to great lengths is the
lie of secrets. He tries to tell us that
if people knew our secrets, they wouldn’t want to be around us. But secrets are one of Satan’s greatest tools
against us. He wants us to stay afraid
and bound by them. Once we have true
freedom from rejection, we can also have freedom to share our secrets. Now the rejection isn’t about you, but about
them. If someone rejects you for your
honesty, they are struggling with their own secrets or with their concept of
God and his forgiveness.
Once we learn how to tackle these areas, we are free to
reach out to others. We are free to be
used by Jesus to meet someone else’s needs.
Some of the ways I have worked through these types of issues
is through forgiveness. Understand that
forgiveness is a lesson in itself. Also,
through taking my thoughts captive and bringing them under the submission of
the Lord. Also, choosing to believe what
God says about me – who I am in Christ.
Now, back to our introduction story. When Jeanne arrived, what do you do? What would you like to be able to do? Is there something you need to be freed from
that would hold you back from reaching out to Jeanne? Pursue freedom and break those strongholds.
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